MNHL News

December 9 Game Reports

Whalers 4 Red Wings 4

In a game that anybody could have won… no one did!

Whalers and Wings battle to a 4-4 tie highlighted by the fluid play of Wings stud Brad Nickle and a spirited intermission speech from Whalers Captain Jimmy where he imparted such hockey wisdom as “stop the f**king puck”, “shoot the f**king puck” and the age old “move your f**king feet”.

A slight pre game mis-communication lead to the highlight of the night for the Whalers who – for a brief moment – thought they had lucked out when 2 guys brought beer.  But Jimmy told one to save his for next week.

“You want double the beer?” Jimmy howled at the boys “How about winning a f**king game”

Ahh Jimmy… your leadership is the glue that holds the Whalers together.

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Whalers D-Man Matt MacDonald appears to be in mid-season form

Penguins 8 Kings 3

The stuff the Penguins are made of and their secret to their third victory, an 8-3 win over the mighty Kings…

When your teammate scores, give them a hug and tell them something sweet that makes them smile.

When your teammate falls, pick him up and pat him gently on his hind quarters.

When your teammate yells at a player on the opposing team, tell them they’re a person too, who has feelings and is only trying their best.

When your teammate gets a penalty for perhaps sliding a stick into another player’s nether regions, tell them that player has to go home and use those nether regions on his wife or girlfriend at 2:30 am, when they’re so excited to receive them home.

When you’re at Marinos and one of those gang bangers, who tend to frequent that establishment and who’s concealing a weapon gives your teammate a not so friendly look, tell them they didn’t have all the opportunities you had when you were little to play hockey.

When your teammate talks badly about the referee, tell him it hurts the referee more than it hurts you to hand out that penalty.

When your teammate asks you if you’d care to join them in the shower, tell them you’ll bring the conditioner if they’ll bring the shampoo.

These are the things that bind the Penguins, that drew them together for that third victory, that made all 11 guys go into a shower cubicle made for only two guys.

It’s a bond that goes deeper than marriage. You don’t text your wife at 10am to tell them you’re on the shitter for the third time already because of those wings and draught beer.

It’s your teammate you share these feelings with, the guy who spits next to you on the bench, the guy who asks where my teeth are and then goes back out to the bench in a towel to get them, the guy who loves you unconditionally if you suck or score.

These are the reasons the Penguins will continue to be victorious, will continue to shine, and will take home that MNHL cup in March.

Bruins 6- Leafs 2

Bruins were short staffed AGAIN, with new addition to the Long Term IR Tim Dixon (we’ll miss you Tim!). So they called up super sub Brad Nickle who thought yellow might be good for the complexion (and 3 hours of hockey sounds fun!).

It was a tight game for most of the first with good chances and saves at both ends.  Bruins open it up with a flurry late in the first, netting 2 before the ice gets cleared.  After the break they again find the net in bunches to gain a 5-0 lead.

Then the super sub does the super jinx and says (out loud no less)- “wouldn’t a shutout be great”.  Almost immediately Talbot drills one from the point which bouces off at least 2 players before finding the back of the net.

Goal of the night goes to Andrew Bratton who roofs a backhand in the second

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Bruins Craig Dunbar almost had a shut out last night

December 3 Game Reports

Kings 7 Bruins 2

The Kings slaughter the Bruins.  Due to the traumatic events, no witness statements were taken at the scene.

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Bruins post game reaction

Whalers 5 Penguins 2

2 Words… 4 Goals… 1 Never Say Die Attitude… Whalers are lead to victory by Clarke “Mother F’ing” Webster and his 4 goal performance.

In what can only be described as divine intervention, this stunning human lifted the team on his back and took the Green Fish to the promised land over a stunned Penguins team.

Asked about his 4 goal performance, Clarke only had this to say “it would have been 5 if my  wingers didn’t suck”.  When it was pointed out that the Whalers rotated all 6 wingers on his line thru the game, Webster responded “… exactly”.

When asked after the game how they allowed one player to score 4 goals, a confused Pens Captain Blair stated “Jimmy told us he was a healthy scratch”.

Jimmy’s mind games, once again, have proven the difference in the MNHL.  We’re all just pawns in the high stakes game of hockey domination being played by this Evil Genius.

1_8Vj8l2Xvec64-035yQ1bcQWhalers Captain Jimmy

Leafs 5 Red Wings 4

Without their leader, the Wings fought hard in a back-and-forth game and were well-positioned to come away with a tie or a win.

With the game tied and three minutes left to play, the Leafs took a penalty. But a loose puck in the Wings’ zone ended up on the stick of rookie Darin Crockford, who fired home his second of the game and earning the game’s first star.

The second star went to Leafs forward Andy Cleland, who broke out of his scoring slump with a brilliant deflection past keeper Dave Orr.

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Andy Cleland slides one past Dave Orr

November 25 Game Reports

Red Wings 3 Penguins 2

The Red Wings without their captain and emotional leader Joe Scufca, were able to hold off the Penguins 3-2 despite a late surge and two goals by Russ ‘the hammer” Rodrigues.

Dave Orr played arguably his best game in net all year facing a barrage of shots all game.

The Red Wings although saddened their Captain was missing in action, were still able to demolish multiple king cans during their post game team meeting. Captain Joe returns from Miami in two weeks to resume his position as team leader and mascot.

Leafs 6 Kings 5

In this rematch, the Leafs again get off to a slow start going down 4-1 against the Kings just like a week earlier. And like in the last game, the Leafs claw back to tie the game 4-4…. Only this time, the Buds pull ahead for a chance to win.

But… Ol’ Marty Camenzuli snipes top corner to tie the game again with a couple of minutes remaining.

Call it global warming – but the Leafs would not be denied. With 20 seconds on the clock, Adam Cleland bangs the puck in right off of the face off to give the Leafs the two points and end up with identical records as the Kings.

Bruins 5 Whalers 3

The Bruins and Whalers hooked up for a 2nd straight meeting and the story of the night was Craig “Crazy Legs” Dunbar making save after save for the yellow bears.

Bruins and Whalers trade stretches of pressure in the offensive zone but the Green Fish weren’t able to find the a way past Dunbar.